Really, do you think she's getting a work out?

Time to Fire that Gym

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The best gym for working out, losing weight, and gaining muscle requires several things:

1. location;

2. good hours;

3. free weights and squat rack;

4.  a pull up bar;

5 an area in which you can do plyo and other similar exercises.

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stuff like this

That’s it.  You’ll note I said nothing about juice bars, expensive fitness machines, trainers, or Smith machines.

If you’re a gym owner, you’ll note that none of these things increases profit.

In fact, if you’re savy, and you ARE savy, aren’t you, then you realize, you could probably just get some weights, a squat rack, and a pull up bar at home and be set for life.

In fact, let’s just point out that the only fitness machine you’ll probably need that the gym has is a pull down bar.  This is good for your triceps or your lats.  You may even be able to work on your back.  It’s superficial, but it’s not worthless, eh?

And that sucks for gym owners.  And thus they hire young, trim trainers, buy new, shiny, worthless gadgets, and they put in a sugar bar…I mean juice bar.

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juice…fructose

They do this to get new members and to make a little profit, like selling you supplements

Someone forgot to read the label
Someone forgot to read the label

And also to sell you support.

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You need me, right?

But here we are.  In this world in which gym owners try to sell memberships to people who will never actually use them, once they’ve been suitably impressed by the gadgets, trainers, and juice bar, we –the people who actually work out – have come to a sense of détente with the gym owners.

We get our weights, the squat rack (not for curls), and … if we’re lucky, a pull up bar that doesn’t suck.  The moms, dads, and newbs get their TV’s and weight machines and other junk that doesn’t work but which acts as high tech baby sitters.

But one gym has decided that mean old fashioned squat racks are too scary to the noobs.  So let’s all shame Planet Fitness.  Boo.

But there’s more.   This happens at every gym.  I had a good gym with a good old fashioned squat rack.  It was solid and dignified.  One day, the gym got remade.  They gave it a good cleaning.  Of course, they brought in more junk.  More fitness machines which I’l never use.  Fine.  But they also replaced the squat rack with Squat Rack 2014!  Things attached and unattached, it’s kinda flimsy, the part at which the squat bar is supported is slightly too narrow so that I find myself getting my fingers pinched under the bar when I rerack.  It does too much stuff and it really doesn’t do that much well.  Although, today, i did notice they add a floor feature…you know something on which you can drop weights without damaging the floor. so that’s pretty cool.

What a crock.

So I go to complain to the receptionist.  And here’s where things get evil.  Well, annoying.  It turns out that they regularly turn over gym equipment (I wonder if it’s leased*) so as to get their hapless clientele to hire one of their trainers to explain how to use this junk.  That was how the conversation went.  I asked about why they replaced something, they said hire a trainer, I said I don’t need a trainer, they said, “well, if you aren’t serious about reaching your goals.”  Really? Goals?  Look at me!  It was a script.  They didn’t bother to answer my concerns.

I apparently self identified by asking why they have a new squat rack.  I was invited to hire a personal trainer to help me figure this stuff out.

So, I learned a lot that day at the gym.  I learned that they’re replacing equipment all the time to get you to hire trainers.  It also helps them keep things looking pretty.  And fancy.  Fancy must help them bring in new customers because they can say they have the latest gear.  Me?  I don’t need the latest gear, just an old fashioned squat rack.  In fact, that’s what I tell people when I check out a new gym.  I says “I don’t care, where’s the rack? Is there a pull up bar?”  But that’s me.

New TV’s and new equipment that looks high-tech trick newbies into joining and it tricks them into hiring trainers.

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Don’t be fooled by a fancy gym.  You’re paying for new equipment and HD  TV’s.  Find one that gives you what you really need.

* yeah, apparently it is.  I googled a little and it seems like gyms can go through new model equipment like a yuppie through late model BMW’s because of leasing.

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